


some kind of wonderful

by enemeriad



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Cycles of abuse, F/M, Post-Finale, this is not fix-it fic because i am bitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8353474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enemeriad/pseuds/enemeriad
Summary: We're equals, she says. But that was a different time, different boy.





	

Blair makes promises in her head.   
  
He'll change, she says.  
  
He won't leave, she says.  
  
He'll love me  _right,_ she says.  
  
He'll love me, she lies.   
  
  
  
  
Despite the pretense, Chuck lets her in with only a split lip (Dan) and three thousand dollars lost at the blackjack table. She lets him sweep her up again and she laughs and laughs and covers up all the tiny scratches he's left in her exterior with her misery/happiness.   
  
The hotel is formidable, the sheets are silk and she loses her necklace in the crevace between the headboard.   
  
She comes to his name and vaguely thinks that it  _used_  to better.   
  
  
  
  
  
France, he says.   
  
Two weeks, he says.  
  
He doesn't mention the whore he bought on his way there.   
  
  
  
  
He has a meeting with Jack and this time he's learnt better than to mix business with pleasure. That's all she is nowadays. Half the time she's wrapped up in her own business struggling to find a footing in something she was never groomed for while Chuck battles with his Daddy issues.   
  
(Dead people are surprisingly unforgiving.)  
  
He surprises her with peonies one afternoon during a meeting with Bendels about taking on the resort wear collection.  
  
She pretends she's delighted and vaguely thinks that she's grown to like apologies more than her own happiness.   
  
  
  
  
Not yet, he says.  
  
I want it to be the right moment, he says.   
  
You've grown up, Chuck, she says.   
  
I'm sick of your games, she thinks.   
  
  
  
  
( Voicemails: 0 )  
  
  
  
  
  
The media floods her with excerpts from Dan's new book instead of her new line.   
  
Autumn/Winter is neglected under the hailstorm of the truth.   
  
Nobody cares about pret-a-porter when there's scandals to unleash.   
  
  
  
  
  
She considers calling him.   
  
I hate you, she'd say, How could you do this to me? We were best friends, she'd say.  
  
But she hasn't really got an argument when all he's written is the truth.   
  
  


Chuck returns from another business trip with Jack in tow. They've got it. The way to fix all this.   
  
I'm going to make you Queen, he says.   
  
But, I'm already Queen, she says.   
  
Blair, I want to get married, start a family, I want to do things properly this time, he says.   
  
She understands.   
  
Her happiness at the expense of his.   
  
  
  
  
We're equals, she says.   
  
But that was a different time, different boy. 

 

 

It is easy to justify how much she deserves this. Deserves to be Queen B, deserves to be adored, deserves to be loved. 

Deserves to be hurt,  _hurt,_ hurt for all the hurt she's done. No amount of undoing can pay penance for her. 

  
  
  
  
  
Blair and Chuck, Chuck and Blair.   
  
It's easier being apart of something you're familiar with.   
  


  
  
She can cope with the way Chuck hurts her.   
  
It's like knowing the way you're going to die.   
  
  
  
  
  
They break up.   
  
Again.   
  
But it's ok.   
  
She has been down this road before.  
  
  
  
  
Dan, she says. I'm sorry.   
  
He doesn't invite her in this time.   
  
  
  
  
Chuck apologises.   
  
Again.   
  
Pink peonies and a Harry Winston.   
  
Bigger this time. 

 

 

She's seven years older now. She has a divorce lawyer on speed dial _just in case_. 

She makes threats as easily as she cuts cloth and now a fashion empire, she is not disappointed with herself. 

There's an essence of her. A power. 

Seven years older and she's the same. Everything is the same.   
  
  
  
  
  
Blair makes promises in her head.   
  
He'll change, she says.  
  
He won't leave, she says.  
  
He'll love me  _right,_ she says.  
  
He'll love me, she lies.


End file.
